Thursday, May 17, 2007

The four-letter word

Something happened when Jason turned five. He stopped being my baby. He somehow became my best friend, closest pal, comrade. So mature, well-informed, and grammatically correct. Capable of intellectual conversations about the weather. Taller, thinner, and more GQ with his clothing selection.

Also, he discovered that poop is funny. At least it is to him.

This is how our day begins:

Me: "Jason, what would you like for breakfast?"
Jason: "You mean, what do I want for poopfest?? HA HA HA!"
Me: "Would you like a waffle?"


Me: "Jason, it's time to get dressed."
Jason: "It's time to get pooped! HA HA HA!"
Me: "Here are your clothes."


Me: "Come on, guys. It's time to go to school."
Jason: "Come on, Poopy Drew! It's poopy time! HA HA HA!"
Me: "Put your jackets on, please."

This is how our day ends:

Me: "Jason, it's time to put your pajamas on."
Jason: "I want to wear my poop-and-pee-pee-jamas! HA HA HA!"
Me: "And then we'll go brush our teeth."

Do you see a theme here? I, being the well-informed parent, am NOT feeding into this bad behavior by responding to it in any way. I don't give the slightest flinch, I resist the eyerolling, I keep a handle on any desire to correct and/or scold. I am Supermom. (Superpoopymom!)

I wish I could say it was working for me. But one day I counted 40,261 times he said the word "poop," including all poop-like variations such as "pooper," "poopy," and his favorite: "poo-poo-head."

When these didn't get the reaction he was looking for, he started adding the "pee-pee" references out of desperation.

Still, I never gave in. I wish this was the part where I could say, "So here is the lesson behind this post: Stand your ground! Do not give in, and they will stop the behavior!"

But he is now six. Still my best friend, ever taller and possibly even thinner, extremely bright, can talk politics with the best of them. His intellect seems far beyond his age. Although, at this very minute, he's in the living room watching Madagascar, shaking his fanny, and singing, "I like to poop it, poop it!"

The bathroom humor clearly never stops being funny.