Curses

I have this thing. It's sort of a superstitious-type of thing, where I feel that if I talk about something (out loud, where people can hear me), sort of like, "it's a good thing THAT'S not happening!", I'm therefore "cursing" myself and my good luck will automatically change. Because it does. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I know, I know. You're thinking, "Well, you're supposed to follow up these statements of good fortune with 'Knock on wood!'" But yeah, that part of the superstitious thing doesn't work for me. There's no warding off the evil after the words have been uttered from my mouth. Apparently my words have Super Powers.

So. Because of this problem I seem to have with the inability to tell people about my good luck, I give you this story. About my neighbor. Actually, my neighbor's cousin's nephew. Okay, it's really about that nephew's wife. Or was it his sister-in-law.

Anyway.

So, this person has a couple of kids (I think), and I've heard that he (or she) has had a completely illness-free household for, oh, something like seven months or so. And even before those seven months, there was only the occasional illness blip of the "is-it-a-cold-or-is-it-just-allergies?" variety.

After hearing this (about the neighbor's cousin's nephew's wife) (or his sister-in-law), I can't help but lie awake at night and think, "When will the bomb drop? When will this poor man/woman be hit with the runny noses, coughs, and the (HELP ME JEEBUS) horrific and grotesque Stomach Bug? How is he/she escaping the dreaded (and often simultaneous!) vomit and diarrhea?" I mean, really, how could these people leave their houses daily (and I think I've heard their kids attend the same Germs R. Plentiful Elementary School that my own children attend) and not catch...something? That has to be some sort of miracle, don't you think?

Several times over the past seven or so months, I've heard that this man (or woman) has been warned by the children's teachers that "something is going around" in the classroom, and yet, still, nothing. These children seem to have superhuman germ-defending powers. Maybe they take these vitamins, like my own kids (not to say that my kids ALSO have superhuman germ-defending powers, because, HA - I wish!).

In any case, I'm a bit envious that this man (or woman) is able to discuss their family's luck with avoiding illness out loud - to other people, even! (As opposed to talking to themselves about it in the bathroom with the door locked and the water running SO THE EVIL GERM GODS DON'T HEAR.) Because if I were them, I'd surely have a sore throat, a whining husband with an itty-bitty cold (I feel soooo siiiiiiiick...I must lie on the couch watching NESN allll daaaaay so I can go to wooooooorrrrk tomorrowwwww...*insert forced cough and wet, slurpy sniff*), and my living room would be covered in vomit by the next day.

Thank goodness I know enough to keep such good fortune quiet.