Sew what?
I'm a 38-year-old wife and mother who can barely sew a button onto something.
Here is a good example of why I should've paid closer attention while making my lion pillow in 6th grade Home Economics. Friday night was my 20th high school reunion.
As soon as everyone is done laughing, I will continue.
Okay, then. The outfit I decided on was a little black dress with a little black jacket. The problem was, the jacket's sleeves were too long. But I really liked the way the jacket fit otherwise, and it went perfectly with the dress, so I bought it anyway. I'm too lazy to go to a tailor, but I figured I could wangle something, even if it meant just pinning the sleeves up. Instead, I discovered this handy little glue item called Fabri-Tac, which is good for permanent "hemming" of fabric, or even for minor carpentry around the house. Basically, it's for people who don't know their way around a needle and thread, or a hammer and nail.
So, I turned the first sleeve inside out, folded the fabric, and sealed the hem (permanently!) with Fabri-Tac. Voila! Perfecto! I was so proud of myself! What a waste of time, the needle and thread thing! This was SO much easier! I then turned the sleeve right side out so that I could try the jacket on to admire my hemming job, and OH MY GOD WHAT ARE THOSE WHITE SPOTS AROUND MY WRIST???
Nowhere on the bottle of this glue does it say that the glue might leak through the fabric and leave (permanent!) spots. I tried to remain calm. Well, I thought to myself, I bet my cure-all for any sticky or oily stain (see below) will get rid of these spots. No need to worry.
Brilliant Idea #2: I broke out the Goo Gone, sprayed the ring-around-the-sleeve, and waited a few minutes for it to do its thing. After a few minutes, I scratched the glue spots with my fingernail and...nothing. They didn't budge. Yet, I am still calm! Because, you see, I have MORE tricks up my sleeve (HA HA!)!
Brilliant Idea #3: I found an old toothbrush, which I save for heavy-duty jobs such as this, spray a little more Goo Gone on the spots, and rub them (frantically) with the toothbrush. Hmm. Okay, then! Time to ix-nay the oo-Gone-gay.
Brilliant Idea #4: I run water on the sleeve and slather with dish soap (because that's just as good as laundry detergent, if not better, I'm thinking!). I rinse the soap off and squeeze the sleeve with a dish towel to absorb the water. The dish towel turns an odd purplish color. Could this be why the tag says "dry clean only"?
At this point, I am still cheerful - and hopeful! - until I notice that the spots are still there even after washing. Okay, now I'm starting to freak out juuuust a little bit.
But wait - more brilliant ideas are forming in my head! I'm thinking, if only there were black...paint...or something...that would cover the glue spots. That would be fine, right? I mean, who would know? So what if the jacket cost $50 on sale and I'm slowly mutilating it in 25 different ways? I really didn't care, as long as the spots were no longer visible.
Brilliant Idea #3: I went in search of some markers.
Unfortunately, a black Sharpie wasn't the answer. I thought these things were supposed to write on EVERYTHING? Well, let me tell you, they do not write on glue. Just so you know. For the future. (Someday you will thank me for this advice.)
On a whim, I decided to try the jacket on again to see if there was anymore length that could be taken off (because at this point I was leaning toward hacking the ruined fabric off with scissors and tacking the sleeves up with mini chip clips), and thankfully it turned out that the sleeve was still too long! Thank God I'm so stupid that I didn't make it the right length the first time! I mean...yeah. That. I guess.
Anyway, I ended up folding the fabric one more time to hide the damage and pinning the sleeves up into a faux hem, and all was well with the outfit in the end. No one was the wiser. (Least of all, me.)
And, in case anyone was wondering, I was NOT late to the reunion, as I predicted I would be. But I did have a semi-bad hair day and a small zit. All in all, though, it was a great time and everything went well.
I did have black rings around my wrists the next morning, however. (I thought Sharpies were supposed to be PERMANENT??)
And finally, a completely unrelated link because I can't seem to stop: This one makes my ovaries itch.
Here is a good example of why I should've paid closer attention while making my lion pillow in 6th grade Home Economics. Friday night was my 20th high school reunion.
As soon as everyone is done laughing, I will continue.
Okay, then. The outfit I decided on was a little black dress with a little black jacket. The problem was, the jacket's sleeves were too long. But I really liked the way the jacket fit otherwise, and it went perfectly with the dress, so I bought it anyway. I'm too lazy to go to a tailor, but I figured I could wangle something, even if it meant just pinning the sleeves up. Instead, I discovered this handy little glue item called Fabri-Tac, which is good for permanent "hemming" of fabric, or even for minor carpentry around the house. Basically, it's for people who don't know their way around a needle and thread, or a hammer and nail.
So, I turned the first sleeve inside out, folded the fabric, and sealed the hem (permanently!) with Fabri-Tac. Voila! Perfecto! I was so proud of myself! What a waste of time, the needle and thread thing! This was SO much easier! I then turned the sleeve right side out so that I could try the jacket on to admire my hemming job, and OH MY GOD WHAT ARE THOSE WHITE SPOTS AROUND MY WRIST???
Nowhere on the bottle of this glue does it say that the glue might leak through the fabric and leave (permanent!) spots. I tried to remain calm. Well, I thought to myself, I bet my cure-all for any sticky or oily stain (see below) will get rid of these spots. No need to worry.
Brilliant Idea #2: I broke out the Goo Gone, sprayed the ring-around-the-sleeve, and waited a few minutes for it to do its thing. After a few minutes, I scratched the glue spots with my fingernail and...nothing. They didn't budge. Yet, I am still calm! Because, you see, I have MORE tricks up my sleeve (HA HA!)!
Brilliant Idea #3: I found an old toothbrush, which I save for heavy-duty jobs such as this, spray a little more Goo Gone on the spots, and rub them (frantically) with the toothbrush. Hmm. Okay, then! Time to ix-nay the oo-Gone-gay.
Brilliant Idea #4: I run water on the sleeve and slather with dish soap (because that's just as good as laundry detergent, if not better, I'm thinking!). I rinse the soap off and squeeze the sleeve with a dish towel to absorb the water. The dish towel turns an odd purplish color. Could this be why the tag says "dry clean only"?
At this point, I am still cheerful - and hopeful! - until I notice that the spots are still there even after washing. Okay, now I'm starting to freak out juuuust a little bit.
But wait - more brilliant ideas are forming in my head! I'm thinking, if only there were black...paint...or something...that would cover the glue spots. That would be fine, right? I mean, who would know? So what if the jacket cost $50 on sale and I'm slowly mutilating it in 25 different ways? I really didn't care, as long as the spots were no longer visible.
Brilliant Idea #3: I went in search of some markers.
Unfortunately, a black Sharpie wasn't the answer. I thought these things were supposed to write on EVERYTHING? Well, let me tell you, they do not write on glue. Just so you know. For the future. (Someday you will thank me for this advice.)
On a whim, I decided to try the jacket on again to see if there was anymore length that could be taken off (because at this point I was leaning toward hacking the ruined fabric off with scissors and tacking the sleeves up with mini chip clips), and thankfully it turned out that the sleeve was still too long! Thank God I'm so stupid that I didn't make it the right length the first time! I mean...yeah. That. I guess.
Anyway, I ended up folding the fabric one more time to hide the damage and pinning the sleeves up into a faux hem, and all was well with the outfit in the end. No one was the wiser. (Least of all, me.)
And, in case anyone was wondering, I was NOT late to the reunion, as I predicted I would be. But I did have a semi-bad hair day and a small zit. All in all, though, it was a great time and everything went well.
I did have black rings around my wrists the next morning, however. (I thought Sharpies were supposed to be PERMANENT??)
And finally, a completely unrelated link because I can't seem to stop: This one makes my ovaries itch.
posted by Karen Friday, November 24, 2006
4 Comments:
This post made me laugh out loud! Sounds like something I would do. Glad I'm not the only one who can't sew and has tried alternative methods for altering clothing. Oh, and my 20 year high school reunion is only 2 years away!
Too funny, Karen! I'm glad you had a good time at your reunion.
Oh man sounds like you had fun LOL.
See, this is why you have to have a blog. stuff like this is too outstanding to keep bottled up!!!
(and very inventive you are - bravo!)
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