A lousy movie and a typical man

Paul and I had a date today. The kids were at the in-laws' for most of the day, so we decided to go to the movies and out for an early dinner. We saw Lady in the Water, and dare I say it was the most ridiculous film I've seen in a long time. I think I'd like to have some of what M. Night Shyamalan is smoking, just so I can briefly get a glimpse of what it's like to be that out of touch with reality. On second thought, if what he's smoking costs more than $7.50 a bone, it probably wouldn't be worth it. That's how bad this movie stunk.

But here's the part where Paul becomes the Essence of Typical Maleness.

We go into the restaurant next door to the theatre, and he, being the polite gentleman he is, opens the door for me. I, being the strong, independent woman that I am, proceed to open the next door into the restaurant by myself, and I hold the door open for him to enter. He, being the hopeless hornbag that he is, is busy holding the door open for the slinky sexpot who was heading toward the door with her boyfriend. The only problem is, I don't think he realized that she was beyond the Necessary Distance for Polite Door-Holding (she was, like, 50 yards away). But he apparently was so captivated by her high heels and swaggering walk and the boobs falling out of her top that he didn't notice this faux pas. He stood there like a doorman, back plastered to the open door, goofy smile on his face, while she sauntered up to the door. And she looks over at me, Mrs. Frumpy Housewife, struggling to hold the heavy inside door to the restaurant, sweat dripping from my brow, waiting for my husband to get his wits together and remember that he's, um, MARRIED, and then I see the wench girl toss me a lopsided, knowing grin, that said, "Your guy is checking me OUT! Nah-nah-na-nahh-nahhhhh!"

I LOVE that.

So, while I'm waiting for Paul to snap out of his trance, I'm all like, "Ahem! TODAY would be nice!" And Paul doesn't even hear me, he's so hormonally imbalanced. "Wha...hmmm...??" he mumbles, while not even looking at me.

Years ago, I would've made him pay all night for this behavior, but this time I just had to laugh. Men are so pathetic.

Sitting at the bar, I couldn't help but comment: "Wow, you were willing to hold the door a long time for that girl, huh?"
Paul: "What?! I mean, yeah, she was taking a long time to get to the door, so I just held it until she finally got there."
Me: "How nice of you to wait a full five minutes for her to get to the door."
Paul: "It was NOT five minutes..."
Me: "It was at least four."
Paul: "Well, I couldn't just let the door go. That would be rude!"
Me: "Did you see that I had opened the next door by myself and was holding it for you, waiting for you to take it?"
Paul: "No, I didn't, because I couldn't believe how long it was taking that girl to get to the door and I wasn't looking at you." (No way!)
Me: "Did you happen to notice the knowing smile she gave me as she approached the door?"
Paul: "No, I really wasn't looking at her face at all!"

I rest my case.